Tech tips for seniors aren’t just some cute listicle—man, I learned that the hard way last Tuesday when I accidentally FaceTimed my ex-wife’s new husband while trying to order Uber Eats. I’m sitting here in my recliner in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, the one with the coffee stain shaped like Florida, staring at this glowing rectangle that apparently runs my life now. The AC is humming like an angry cat, and I’ve got QVC muted on the TV because the volume button on the remote decided to ghost me. Anyway, these tech tips for seniors saved my bacon more times than I care to admit.
My Biggest Tech Tips for Seniors Fail: The Smart TV Debacle
Okay, real talk—my daughter got me this “smart” TV for Christmas, and I spent three hours convinced it was possessed. The remote had more buttons than my old VCR, and suddenly I’m screaming “PLAY JEOPARDY” at Alex Trebecki’s ghost while the thing keeps asking me to connect to Wi-Fi. These tips for seniors should come with a warning label: “May cause spontaneous swearing in front of grandchildren.” I finally figured out you gotta hold the microphone button like you’re proposing to Siri, not just yell at the screen like my dad used to yell at the weatherman.
The Voice Command Nightmare That Still Haunts Me
- I asked for “The Golden Girls” and got Golden Corral menus
- Tried “weather” and somehow ordered 12 pounds of chicken wings
- Accidentally bought “The Irishman” thinking it was about my cousin Sean from Dublin
These tech tips for seniors moments are why I keep a yellow legal pad next to my chair with actual handwritten notes. Like, who knew “Hey Google, call Linda” would dial the Chinese takeout place? Not this guy.
Practical Tech Tips for Seniors That Actually Work (Tested by My Arthritis)
Here’s the thing—tech tips for seniors need to account for fingers that don’t work like they used to. I discovered this when I kept accidentally liking my nephew’s ex-girlfriend’s vacation photos from 2017. Pro tip: go into settings and make everything bigger. Like, comically large. My text messages now look like ransom notes, but at least I can read them without my drugstore readers.
Passwords: My Personal Tech Tips for Seniors Hell
I used to write passwords on Post-its stuck to my monitor. Yeah, I know, tech tips for seniors 101 says don’t do that, but tell that to my memory that’s apparently taken up residence in the same place as my car keys. Now I use this app that generates passwords longer than my social security number, but I wrote the master password on the back of my AARP card. Don’t judge me—it’s laminated.
The Zoom Disaster That Became My Best Tech Tips for Seniors Story
Picture this: I’m in my bathrobe (the one with the burn holes from forgotten cigarettes) trying to Zoom with my grandkids. I click “join meeting” and suddenly thirty people are staring at my ceiling fan because I forgot which way the camera points. Tech tips for seniors should include: always assume your camera is on and you’re probably making a weird face. I spent the whole call muted while my granddaughter tried to teach me about “filters”—ended up looking like a sparkly unicorn for half the meeting.
Final Tech Tips for Seniors From a Guy Who Still Can’t Program the Microwave
Look, these tech tips for seniors aren’t about becoming some Silicon Valley wizard. It’s about not letting this stuff run your life. Start small—maybe just learn to text with actual words instead of “k” like my brother-in-law does. Or figure out why your photos are uploading sideways (it’s the way you hold the phone, Karen).
Anyway, next time your grandkid rolls their eyes when you ask how to “make the internet work,” just remember—I’ve been there, done that, accidentally bought the extended warranty. Try one of these tech tips for seniors this week. Start with making your phone text bigger. Then maybe graduate to not accidentally venmo-ing your life savings to a Nigerian prince. Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps.
Shoot me a message if you figure out how to make the Facebook stop showing me ads for stairlifts. Seriously.
